AFTER YOU..

Things happening in my life would come to an end.. i don’t know when.. Its a big suffering that you gave, there had been lot many people who awarded with the pain.. you also joined them WHY although i loved you.. loved than more than you did, loved you more than i did to me.. why you had to give this pain to me. I know things were not so easy, i know there were too many problems but i also knew that we together could have erased those problems from this chapter of our life. But why you lost the patience? why you lost the faith in your love? why you let you be so weak that you got so helpless.. i never did anything less to make you loose on my love but i think now that, if i could have done things less that could have been much better at least today i could not have been in such a situation where in i could have been so paralyzed and dead to me..
Everything around is still same.. the world is still the same, people around me is still the same.. arms of the clock on the wall still moves on the same way same speed.. why the clock makes me feel that i am so helpless and i cant even help me to do things.. why it tells me that i am left behind in the time and the changes that it brings i cant cope that.. why i am so lost ? why i feel like the painting on the wall has nothing to do other than hanging myself to the wall. This room is killing me.. the room that you gave to my love.. i m locked in the room, i cant come out, its all so suffocated here its very difficult to breathe.. come and feel the darkness, i cannot see anything my mind is jammed, the beats in the heart is so painful.. look at the wings that you gave me to fly i want to fly in your love but i cant its so impossible to shred the wings like shredding the skin… i know you left, left me but with me you left all your memories, you left all the pain you left all the thoughts to live with..
I can tell you that i had been crying.. .its so different than what you know me.. i am so broke.. its all so silent here but still i can hear just you.. i wish i could call you back.. i could stop you but i cant, i beg come back.. please don’t go.. you gonna save my life.. please don’t go..
I know we will have to meet somewhere again, maybe in a different age different time in different forms.. But i will always be there around you.. and i will keep you always in me.. Till then want to say after you I MISS YOU and We will be together again..
my life..
It can never be AFTER YOU..

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Broke..

A big day in life.. Has go a lot to say about this day but dont know where to start from. seems like everything is so important and i want to talk about just everything.
This is so mysterious that somebody comes in your life, promises every moment and then goes away forgetting all the promises that was made. For me this year had a great start, You came in my life and put the shine everywhere. My life was not so bad before you came in.. all though nothing was so good to keep me happy but i was habituated to what ever i had. You came to my life and i felt that everything is so good and i am so happy with everything that i have after you. Everyday was a treasure to me with you. I waited every second for you when you were not there, when you were there i could not ever stop myself by saying I LOVE YOU.
But still God had made decisions for me which presently i don’t like, i know some day things will become a memory and we will always think that if it could have happened then how it could have been.. similarly how life could have been. But somebody said thinking about something doesn’t changes anything.. is it really true, sorry i do not agree. If i will not think how will i plan, if i will not plan how will i act accordingly, and if i will not act how will i live. I know that God gave me this life to live.. But how without you, you taught me to live with you but why you did not teach me to live without you as well. I am so surprised that how come i let myself so involved in you that i never thought any thing ever without you.. what ever i did you were there so i was able to do..
i dont know why i am writing this i know she will never read it.. she will never know that i was so alone and needed her so much even when she hated me..

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I knew its LOVE

You feel complete for the first time in your life. You feel understood for the first time. You don’t feel alone anymore. You feel like you’ve come home. You feel them with you no matter where you go. You feel their thoughts and they feel yours. You feel your spirit mix and mingle with theirs. You now know you can handle and do anything, nothing is too great. You feel encouraged and empowered by them. You long to be with them whenever away. You feel content, happy, and satisfied. You feel when talking with them that you are talking to yourself. When you look deeply into their eyes, you see and find yourself. Within them you find answers to the deepest of questions. You’re in a constant state of wonderment. With this person astonishment, awe, and surprise never end… you are truly in awe of them. You finally understand, you finally get the meaning, the message of life and love.

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confession

Life often takes drastic turns. At times we may not know what is ahead. I have found solace in following your lead, confident that we are capable of facing whatever challenges may lie ahead. I look forward to spending an eternity with you. A compliment of you is what I strive to be. I am confident that we will live together for an indefinitely long time. Why?
I love you. I love you in every sense of the word. I love you with warm and personal affection, as a close friend. I love you as a dear family member. I love you romantically. Most of all I love you with the strongest form of love, principled agape love; a love that is an unselfish concern for doing what is right and good, whether it appears to be deserved or not. It is a love that covers mistakes. It provides the basis for “putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely.” Granted we all make mistakes, but this love allows us to forgive. This principled agape love never fails. It is a perfect bond of union.
I deeply respect you. I want to honor you by being kind to you, respectful of your dignity and expressed views, and ready to fulfill any reasonable request made of me. I want to show my deep respect by considering what is best for you and giving that priority. I understand and accept that we may not always agree. It would be unreasonable to expect us to have identical opinions and views on everything. However, I do respect your views and opinions. I want to show my respect for your dignity as well by not making you the object of demeaning jokes or comments.
Because of the love and deep respect I have for you, I feel we can overcome any obstacles that may lie ahead. I feel we can have a happy future together, forever. There are many things I need to work on, many things I want to do but have yet to accomplish. I really need to work at communicating. Good communication flourishes when there are gently spoken words, gracious looks and gestures, kindness, understanding, and tenderness. I know I have failed at times to be understanding and to speak gently and for this I am truly sorry. While learned behavior is not an excuse for me to act in such a way, it may assist you in understanding. There are many personality traits I need to improve on. I find more and more aspects of my personality that need improvement each day. Please be patient with me as I try to make these improvements.
I am trying. I am trying to do what you need me to do. I am being patient but I must admit I am confused and slightly frustrated when my efforts to provide you with, what I believe to be, what you need are met with a less than positive reaction. At times I feel no matter what I do, or how, I am only going to succeed in causing you pain. I am being patient, and will continue in my patience, hoping to gain understanding in time.
I am learning to keep your interests first. You think this cannot be learned, I disagree. I have lived the majority of my life putting the needs of others first. However, for self-preservation I began putting myself first in order to avoid extreme pain and heartache. I had been trampled and beaten so often that in order to save my self from more harm I needed to put my interests first. I know I am capable of putting your needs, wants, and desires first and foremost. I know because it was a challenge to make myself less selfless and more selfish. I do love you and trust you completely. I need to recondition myself and readjust my thinking. I know you will not cause me any intentional harm. This knowledge allows me to make myself vulnerable again. I am able but most of all I truly desire to look out for your best interests instead of my own.
I love you sincerely, without reservation. I respect you deeply.

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I understand that you travel in BMW but do you’ve a friend to walk along when your BMW is broke ?

This content I’m writing about relations. A human is born with relation, but then time take away this relation. Whether it’s a born relation like parents or siblings or any relation in this world. I’m surprised that why it happens if God takes it away then Why he gives us with a relation. Sometimes we pray and ask God for a relation to stay in our life, sometimes without asking we get the relation in our life that’s so strange.. If somebody comes in our life and then they quit from our life WHY they don’t have the right to do it.. to come and go.. it shouldn’t happen.. I being a human I understand human emotions but why other people can’t ? I feel God should make some rules and stop this bad practice so that at least someone like me doesn’t looses on the relations in life. Its very strange in life that somebody who we do not expect to be loyal and kind to us comes out to be the BEST one in our life and sometimes the one I expected to b loyal and kind went away of life .. not even saying the reason why they left.. that person didn’t even give you chance for you to make things better and solved. And that thing is called a cheating in life.. “YOU CHEATED WITH ME IN LIFE” God bless you friend and I hope that the life doesn’t cheats you and you being a cheater still there are people around you who is being loyal and not cheating on you. I faced up you on my face so that I be the one you wanted me to be but still you said that I’m being ugly & double face to you. However, you didn’t ever realize that you made me that two face. It’s not still the end, life has too many unwrapped gifts for everyone the way I’m unwrapping gifts everyday, sometimes good sometimes bad, you’ll also unwrap too many gifts in life my friend. It could be friend or a enemy for you, now you need to choose which gift you want to unwrap my friend.
I’ve learned in my lifetime so far that you can’t help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts every day, you still want to be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because thats what makes your life worth going on.. but still that person walks away from your life just for the hake of getting a good chance of getting a good one. WAOW ! what a beautiful life God make us to live. I thank you for coming in my life and then walking away leaving my hand & me on the lonely way of life.. I thank you for giving such a good experience in life and making me learn a good thing about life. I can walk alone and alone can make the wonders happen. I will make sure that I don’t become the same like you because now I’ve known that how much it hurts to someone who you leave alone in the starry darkness for who you were the only light to travel through the pain of life.
“I thought of building a bridge between us but you chose to build a wall….” I wanted you to stay in my life so that I can make it beautiful and you could enjoy the beauty but you chose it to be ruined and stink to you, so its not my fault. “SORRY”.
“I was born with relations but time made me orphan”

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A GIRL...

This is about a girl who doesn’t know herself, and whatever she knows about herself is less than what I know about her. Want to tell her few things with what I’m writing over here…

A girl with lot of joys in her but saw only pain in her, A girl with lot of wishes in her but saw only the dreams that died & doesn’t realize about the one that born every day, A girl who knows no limit to the world but just saw where she stopped for a while, A girl who still lives but felt the pain of only leaving.. I met you a day.. thought got someone like me, she got things in her life like me, she got things in her like me. But she upsets me sometimes b’coz I want to make her learn how to win like the way I learnt it. She knows what she has got but dsn’t see her in positive but see her in negative.. I want you to realize that the way you are deep in this earth in the same way you’re high in the sky.. I want you to see the sky full of winnings, not the depth of earth full of losses. You got things in you which can make you win, as you won over the time and life and lived your life for this long despite the fact that people gave you lot of disappointments. You still lived and didn’t leave because this mean world didn’t care for you. I want you to dig this whole where you seems to be lost and come out of this and show the world that how you evolved out of the worst. She’s got the voice so soothing but she still feels that it’s bad because she is tired of talking to herself and listening herself. She’s tired of thinking and now she wants someone to think of her. She doesn’t want to care about herself any more because she wants someone now to take care of her. You need to know that the best can still happen in life, but only if you do not loose the hope. She carries herself as a light to show the way to others but she is lost in the darkness. Please come out of this and make me happy for you. It’s that I’m not happy, I’m happy but for me that I’ve someone like you in my life but I want you to make me happy for you now.

Remember only the nights are dark but the days are still full of light, just wake yourself to see the days and not the nights. I know you will do it. I’ve the confidence in you and I trust you to make it right and stop living the wrongs. Live yourself in you not the others in you, and then see how things changes, you will see the happiness around, you will see things happening around you which never happened before. Don’t see the people but see the birds around who still have time to look at you, don’t listen to people but listen to the birds who sings for you just to make you happy.

Everyone around you, wants you to be happy. So please be happy..:)

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Dont Want to FEEEEL:(

I’m afraid that, why life doesn’t have ending situations the moment something is about to end God gives a new situation to tackle. I was not yet done with what I had in my life and a new thing came up. It’s very difficult for me to forget anything and I think that it’s the same for someone else. Was it so difficult to understand for the God that he created such creatures and left with such a life?
Everybody’s life is full of trauma, mine is so, I can understand it, BUT MY HEART CAN’T! It’s broken. I want to tell this that it’s so difficult sometimes for me to live with this. For how long I’ll have to keep making fun of me and enjoy others doing it. I know they does but I don’t blame them because I know that they don’t have to care about my feelings that what I’m going thru because they have their own to feel. But why I can understand each time and to everyone, why everyone wants me to understand every time, Why cant they understand that God made me human too and I’m also suppose to live the same happiness, suppose to get the same love and get understood, as the other can. If I can, then why can’t they? I’m not an alien but why they take me as an alien as in I’ve got no emotions I DO HAVE GOT THE SAME EMOTIONS & FEELINGS AS YOU. I don’t want people to give me their world to me but I just want their little understanding for me, little love for me, little feelings for me. I can be the best if I get these.
I’m not a pessimist and keep feeling all bad about my surroundings BUT WHY SORROUNDING IS NOT AT ALL GOOD FOR ME. I’M NOT A SINNER. I’ve good and positive feelings but this world doesn’t let me keep the same good things for them. Why can’t they see that they hurt me I get tears in my eyes as Easley as you can cry, I can still feel the lonesome which I should be habituated of now, and used to this life! I’m getting older with these things in my life every day. If life has to be the same then I don’t want this human generation to exist anymore, I want this world to crash down and destroyed completely I don’t want my kids to live the same what I’m living. I don’t want them to go through the same pain which I’m going through.

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My L( v )V

The most wonderful feelings than i can ever feel of something so strong that with just one touch i get chills and feel tingly with a smile i blush with a kiss I feel it inside my soul . . and I know when I hug or just stare in those eyes that this is it the one
I will never let go, she is the most spectacular person in the world and when i’m with her nothing else is around, a simple stroke threw my hairs and i feel all warm and butterflies and I know i’m all her and she will always care for me and I for her. she is my light through the never ending darkness of my life ..my angel . . the love of my life and none can ever take this away I would die for her and even though i may say sweet things no amount of words are good enough and no word is powerful enough, no posession god enough handed. I feel like she deserve everything in the world, she desire the greatest things made but even that would never be enough love is different for each person but one thing i know for sure it is not just a feeling or emotion its not a choice God made someone for everyone and i found my soul mate, my LOVE and her name is . . she has my heart she is my world my universe my galaxy she is my light my angel the love of my life i would give anything just to see her face or a smile, she her laugh her touch her hands anything to be with her is so spectacular and the only words i can say to describe the feeling is i’m in love . . when i see her my heart beats so fast it feels as if its gonna explode and love fills my whole body and bursts out and no argument or person or anything could ever take it away true soul mates never die and she is my life my love my world MY FUTURE! I'm in love with a girl so perfect I would like to know what I should do or be to deserve someone as wonderful as her . . this is not all I could write forever but it will never be enough . . .this is just some of my story yours may be different . . . but theres one thing for sure I that you also know this love, let it happen to you . .

I cant explain it
its like when you meet someone that you would die for, and you cant live happily without them but you would also be willing to let them go their own way so that they could be happy forever…..

I feel like …every time we talk i want to say something but i don't know what. I try to picture what will happen next time when we will be together.. i think of cute things to say when i’m around her.I try to get her attention even when i’m already have it. I cant look at her or in her eyes without smiling. I cant get through a single song without thinking of how it suits us or her. I over analyze everything she does and says around me and feel like a complete idiot for doing everything i do. but i know she is the love anyway. when she leaves after i want her to come back as soon as possible.. no matter how much time we have it never seems like enough. and my heart starts to beat slower but faster and the same time…

It feels like all my emotions are in her and i would do anything to please her. I feel so powerful when she’s around. I would forget everything else that’s bad in my life only by being with her…

Something for you that i want to say my sweet: “I WAKE UP THINKING OF YOU AND SLEEP THINKING OF YOU…I MISS YOU AS SOON AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE ME…YOUR LOVE ALWAYS EXCITES ME LIKE BUTTERFLIES THAT FLUTTER IN MY STOMACH WHEN I HEAR YOUR VOICE…MY LOVE FOR YOU IS GROWING AND WILL GROW FOREVER AND WILL NEVER DIE”

I WISH YOU COULD UNDERSTAND AND FEEL ALL THAT I WROTE….??!!

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